IVF...The Journey Continues

Back in March Jay and I met with our fertility doc, Dr. Patel and laid out this road map. In June when everything got put on hold I had this thought that things weren't really going to work out like I had planned. As I'm getting older I'm realizing more and more that I have less control of things than I would like at times. But I'm making my peace with it and choosing to have control over my emotions, thoughts and feelings when things don't go according to plan. Usually it involves me crying, which I'm really good at by now! But let me get back on track. We stopped everything in June and slowly crawled through July. August hit and things started back up. I thought to myself, well maybe things are going to continue. Then September started and things took off like never before.

Sometime this week, probably Wednesday or Thursday, I will be having my egg retrieval and Jay and I will be one stop closer to starting our family and become parents. It seems like such a long time in the making, but well worth the wait. We met with Dr. Patel on August 30th and he went through the whole process with us step by step. He really had a good way of explaining what the medicine would be doing. In August and for part of September I was on birth control or the "brakes" medication. Then I had an appointment and was told that the lining of my uterus was too thick and that I couldn't start my stimulating meds until I started my cycle. So that was a tough evening because all those thoughts and feelings from June came back and I was so worried that the delay would really set everything back. However my answer came the next morning and everything was back on track. I started my stimulating meds or the "gas" to really get my ovaries pumping. I started with just one shot for a week and then added two more. I really have been proud of myself for being able to mix meds and use needles and give these shots to myself without any help. The two that I give myself in the stomach have been going really well and I only have a few bruises. The third shot that is in the side of my leg hurts a little bit more and leaves a red welt. But if that's what I have to deal with then so be it!

This past week I was in Tuesday and Thursday morning for ultrasounds and blood work to see how things were progressing. It was such an amazing sight to look at my ovaries on the ultrasound this week and see all those follicles growing. I've looked at my ovaries a lot during the last four years and these ultrasounds brought tears to my eyes. It was good to know that my body was responding to the meds and that follicles were growing. I went in Saturday morning and Dr. Patel was a little concerned about my right ovary being hyper (over) stimulated. There were a lot of follicles in there and my estrogen level was starting to get really high. So now I'm going in every morning for monitoring, as they want to keep a close eye on what is happening. The appointment went well this morning and my estrogen levels have kind of cooled off a little bit. I'm going to head in tomorrow morning and I think I will get something called a "trigger shot" which helps to make things ready for the retrieval. Like I said earlier it looks like it will be sometime on either Wednesday or Thursday.

Dr. Patel did say that I might not  be put fully under for the retrieval either. Apparently my left ovary is hiding behind my bladder and it is too risky to go through the bladder to get to the ovary. When someone is put fully under they tend to breathe more with their stomach. For women, this can move our ovaries around and make it difficult or even impossible to get to for the retrieval. So they might do a light sedation or even just numbing or pain killers for the actual event. But Dr. Patel seems confident that there will be some good eggs to get from the right ovary and that if we can move the left ovary we can get some out of there too.

I'm feeling all sorts of things right now. I'm usually a pretty emotional person and it doesn't take much to make me cry, but with all those hormone shots, it really doesn't take anything to make me tear up. The commercial where the young man speaks into the phone about his grandfather living in that village and it translates it into Italian, totally gets me! A friend sent me a card with Cinderella and Prince Charming on it, thinking of me and Jay and our wedding and I was standing in the kitchen bawling! Of course these are happy tears too and I'm really starting to get excited.This is something we set out to do in March and finally 6 months later here we are!

I know that this is just one step of the process and that the most trying time is when we implant a fertilized egg back inside. I know there are many things that can happen between now and then, but I've waited a long time for this and I can't help but to be excited and look at things from a positive point of view. I know that whatever happens is in God's hands and all I can do is just be there in each moment. Jay and I have spent many nights praying for this and talking about all the "what ifs" that comes with this process. Jay, as always, has been my comfort and support and I am so blessed and honored to call him my husband and dear friend! Thanks also to family and friends that have reached out to me like never before and that means the world to both of us. We are so thankful to all of the support, thoughts and prayers that everyone has given us and we know that whatever happens we are not alone!